Let me add another chapter to my ongoing 'bike ride in Milton Keynes' saga.

Here's the numbers for today: 6 miles (to get to Willen Lake), plus 1 mile (to get all the way around Willen Lake). Topped by 20ft (monkey bars for all of us, back and forth, more than once, in Willen Lake).

Erm... that's it.

That's right. No way back.

Spot the basic flaw in my cunning plan: read carefully.

1) Leave with boys and bikes at 1.00pm.
2) Arrive at the park by 2.30pm.
3) Have healthy picnic spoilt by abnormal abuse of two packets of crisps. Done by 3.00pm.
4) Move across to nearby David Lloyd gym, where we have basketball classes and Hour of Power. Just to make sure all expendable energy is spent. Done by 5.00pm.

Not spotted yet? Let me help you.

The bikes have NO LIGHT.

Is it dark by 5.00pm?

Yes.

Could we go back in complete darkness, a route of over 6 miles, when I have now got lost twice in the daytime?

No.

I smiled seductively at the David Lloyd's manager and whispered in a husky voice: 'Will you please let me store our bikes in your shed for tonight?'
Then I got a lift back home.

We'll go back tomorrow, and then I can get lost properly, in daytime. My boys can't wait.